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beanie_the_whale
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Name: sarah
Country: Iceland
Birthday: 4/12/1992
Gender: Female
Interests: Hmm?tricky.I like reading fantsy and historical fiction. and watching t.v.i love chocolate.Pandas rock
Expertise: Nothing, i'm just lazy i guess
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/3/2006
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| So I’m sitting at Aisling’s desk listening to music and looking out the window! This room has the nicest views in the house! The weather is crap, as you all know, yet its beautiful to look at! The world seems so much smaller at times like this. So much less daunting possibility. Its as if your been wrapped up safe by the cloud and wind. There’s no fire to be burnt by. With so much less possibility in the air, there aren’t so many hopes left to be scorched. Walking home with a cold wind blowing you, and a warm coat keeping you safe there is a tiny sense of invincibility that you allow creep into you. If the elements aren’t defeating you there’s no reason anything else should! When you see trees almost completely bent over but know you haven’t moved it must mean you have some strength after all. But maybe you have been moved; by comments and suggestions and the song that should have reminded you of him but reminded you of a different him instead. When everything is pointing you forward towards someone new why does one always look back racked with guilt and think maybe there’s a tiny possibility left with the old? Maybe we wrap ourselves up in a pretend cloud or anger and indifference because fear of others discovering our truth is too great. Maybe the real story begins with once upon a time the girl realised that revealing your emotions can get you into trouble, painfull trouble and so now no one gets to see the truth. Maybe she realised that playing the tragic heroine only gets you so far. Maybe she thought it was time to grow up. Maybe she pretends to find romance over rated. But maybe every night she still holds the old imaginary hand, she’s held for months now, so she mightn’t be sleeping all alone. | | |
| So I do be guessing that it do be time to be up dating this thingy majigum . So what do I be having to talk about….Hmmm….a worthy question….Hehe I sound like a large stupid person! “Yeah I went there” lol!Anyway down to business now. KT Tunstall was absolutely brilliant. I haven’t had such a great time in absolutely ages even though there were no real lava lamps there *gasps* Did I just say that!:P She is a million times better live than on C.D which is saying something cuz I love her C.Ds. She played all of my favourites, she even played Under the Weather and I Don’t Want You Now. She has been one of my favourites for ages and it was incredible seeing her live. She was really funny and it wasn’t too crowded, like there was room to move and do THE BODY POP! Lol! And I sang along to loads of them, even though I can’t sing! She played a new song for us too, it was only her second time ever performing it and it was really good! She’s engaged to her drummer and I think comments were directed at me because of that but meh! lol! I bought a really cool t-shirt from the hot t-shirt man there too! I wore it in Monday but then I got cold from sitting in a field watching soccer practice! What other news do I have…. Last night was fun! Mary came up to my house and we ate ice cream and watched Grey’s Anatomy and gossiped! lol! One by one we’re all falling prey to the gossip bug! lol! You know what song I love? To You I Bestow by Mundy! T’is very cool! I dunno if I have anything else to write about… I hope everyone’s exams went well. I’m sure y’all did great! I’d better go now as I have nothing else left to say! Arrivederci! | | |
| Hello! Time for a post I do be thinking! Fourth year is almost over and I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. I’ll miss some parts of it, others not so much. I dunno if I’ve “grown and matured” as a person and I don’t think I’ve become more confident at all. But I did get up to some crazy things with Michelle and Mary, that really rocked. I also have made better friends with people like Shane, Ruth, Celene and Shelly which is cool. I guess I will miss it but worse things have happened than it ending. I got a job. Its not fun. I wanna go down town! lol! I went down town in Monday, I had fun with Mary and Celene. My feet are in bits thanks to my silly pretty shoes, thanks for the piggy backs Celene! lol! But then I was left alone with people- Boys are stupid! I have concluded that in an embarrassing situation if you pretend that you have no idea anything is going on then you’ll be just fine! I’m still mad at Daniel though! Cheek of that fool! lol! Not really, he’s forgiven. I could make some deep meaningful point about love or something here, but I just dunno anymore. Almost two years ago I got my heart broken. It took me such a long time to get over it, I’d never felt sad and hopeless like that before. Now there is this person who apparently likes me and I might like him back but I’m too afraid of getting hurt and humiliated again that I don’t even know how to get close to him or anything. I was looking at pictures and stuff on Mary’s laptop in our hotel room on Wednesday night and I came across this thing that struck a cord with me. It was called fear and it made me cry. It went like “She’s afraid that after the waiting he’ll find another girl. She’s afraid of what hasn’t happened yet. Most of all she’s afraid that no one will ever compare to him.” I was actually sitting in our hotel room crying because it was so true. I’m so scared that once this person get to really know me he wont want anything to do with me anymore. What if his friends are only joking? I’m terrified that I’ll spend my whole life comparing people to the guy who broke my heart and I’ll never be able to accept this guy for not being him. When I half mentioned this to someone they told me I was being ridiculas, but I’m not. Guys don’t like me that way. They never do and its so unfair because ever since I was a little girl I’ve been hopelessly romantic. I’m so scared that I’ll never get my happy ever after. | | |
| So there is this guy. And he's really cute. And people have told me he's really nice. And from what I can tell he is really nice. But there is just one problem, I have no idea how to break the ice and approach him. All advice welcome!!! | | |
| I wish I could've stayed in Paris. Actually I wish I could've stayed in Italy, in Venice, in the Doge's palace. Where I was strong and beautiful and his his eyes were all that matter. For the last two days I've felt sick. Scared and sick. And I wish i was as strong as those people who aren't so afraid. I feel so betarayed. I just want to delete all those memories. Pretend they never existed. | | |
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